For those of you familiar with the old children’s song Frosty the Snowman…
News Report from the Red Light Roundup, Christmas Edition
Frosty T. Snowman has been brought up on formal charges, including misdemeanor and criminal offenses.
The charges include, but are not limited to, the following:
- Possession of stolen property: 1 old silk hat, 1 broomstick
- Endangering the safety of minors
- Evading Arrest/Obstruction of Justice
- Disorderly Conduct
- Public Indecency – running through town wearing only a hat and scarf (Lack of any visible genitals may cause this charge to be dismissed)
There is also suspicion of possession and public use of illegal controlled substances. Results from further analysis of the corncob pipe are expected shortly.
Forthcoming interviews of all the children involved will reveal if coercion and/or kidnapping charges are to be added.
Eyewitnesses reported that the suspect, as he ran through the streets of town, not only paused only a brief moment when the policeman hollered, “Stop”, but was so brazen as to stare back with his coal-black eyes as he evaded the officer on foot and hollered “Catch me if you can!”
The criminal is currently at-large, having melted away. However witnesses said Mr Snowman made repeated assurances of being back again someday. If you see the suspect, please contact your local authorities immediately. Any information that can lead to arrest will receive a reward.